I used to teach third grade. That experience has made me love fifth grade even more. While I thoroughly enjoyed my time in third grade, fifth grade is much more my style. Fifth graders understand sarcasm and laugh at your jokes because they get them. They are outgrowing the immature behaviors such as falling out of their chairs to get a laugh. You can (usually) explain something once or twice and they listen and know what to do. Fifth graders correct each other, and the peer pressure can be used to help students self-correct undesirable behaviors.
Last year was my first year in fifth grade. (Besides the one I spent in elementary school while I was actually eleven years old). Last year was a breath of fresh air. Each day I came to work and was loved by 21 sweet angels. They worked hard, they followed directions, and they brought me snacks all the time (I was pregnant last year). They threw me a baby shower, they drew cards for me, and they were quiet when asked to be quiet. Even though I had the inevitable behavior issues, the rest of the students were as understanding about it as could be expected, and did not join in to the inappropriate behavior. They all would give those students the same "look" I gave them and quote the same saying I would quote whenever the undesired behavior would start. When I think about last year, I sigh and smile. Last year was the year of perfection. If I had to equate last year to a Chinese year (you know how you get the menus that have animals for each year), it would have to be the year of the unicorn. It was magical, pleasant, and rare.
This year is my second year teaching fifth grade. This year I have 24 lovely children in my classroom. About 8 of those students consistently do not cause a problem during instruction. So, if this were math class, I could ask what fraction of students in our class do not disrupt instructional time? The answer would be one-third. That means that the remainder of students in our class disrupt instruction regularly. What fraction is, no you may not go to the bathroom, that? The answer would be two-thirds. TWO-THIRDS of my class regularly disrupt instruction. Imagine trying to complete a lesson. No, imagine trying to complete a sentence when two-thirds of your classroom is regularly doing something inappropriate. This year I have named they year of the dragon. It is unreal, scary, breathes fire, and makes you feel like taming it is impossible.
It is also the year of 50 First Dates. If you've seen the movie, you know that Drew Barrymore had an accident and lost her long term memory. She relives the same day everyday, thinking it is a brand new day. Adam Sandler falls in love with her, but each day she forgets who he is. At the end of the movie, Adam Sandler made a video for Drew to watch every morning when she wakes up. The video goes over all of the highlights of their life together so she can know what is going on and they can continue living their life instead of reliving the same day over and over. Well, my class needs that video. Had I known, I could have filmed the first day of school, edited it to just go over the highlights, and then I would play it each morning before we began any instruction. That way, I wouldn't have to repeat the same things each day to the same people. Over and over. I could just play the tape.
Doing this would prevent me from saying things like:
"Don't come up to me and ask a question while I am teaching. Please raise your hand."
"Js, please wait until I give directions before you ask your question."
"Please come in and sit down before asking me if you can go somewhere."
"I can only answer one question at a time, so if you all start asking me things as we are coming in the classroom, I cannot hear anyone and the answer will always be no."
"Js, please stop coming up to me to ask a question. Raise your hand."
"No, you may not go to the library. You may add your name to the list and wait your turn. That is the way we always handle library time."
"K, please stop calling people stupid, retarded, or dumb."
"Yes, K, I understand that you think they actually are dumb, but please quit calling them that."
"Yes, Js? Please don't ask me if you can get go to the library during math class. You know how we go to the library."
"No, Js, you may not take an AR test right now either."
"D, please sit down. You do not need another tissue, more hand sanitizer, or a sharper pencil. You need to get your work done."
"No, Js, you may not get on the computer. You may finish your work."
"D, how did you get all the way back there? Your desk is up here!"
"J, you may not have scissors! I have told you that ever since I saw you trying to cut your eyelashes on the first day of school! You know that your neighbor is supposed to cut things out for you."
"Js, put your hand down, you do not have a question right now. you have an assignment."
Every day I go in with high hopes and prayers, thinking I might have a successful day. And then that day begins. And those same students overcome my best efforts and ideas. Never in my 7 years of teaching have I had a year like this. I have had years as challenging as this year, but never in the same way. And every day I think to myself, "I miss last year." But alas, last year's students have moved on, and before me sits the task of taming the Dragon.
I know that I can tame it, but we have already completed ten weeks of school and have made very little progress in the way of taming these behaviors. I have never had a year where it took longer than about three weeks to tame most of these behaviors. But again, this year is 50 first dragon dates.
At least tomorrow is Friday. Guess what I will probably hear as I try desperately to grade a stack of papers while they take their spelling test?
"Yes, Js, I did know that lunch is in exactly 128 minutes. Thank you for sharing that. Now don't you have a spelling test to complete?"
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